Farmer Small, the Grumpy farmer and the mystery squash in happier times.
"Good news, Farmer Small! One of my friends has identified the mystery vegetable."
" Really? said Farmer Small. "What is it?
"She thinks it's a Kuri Squash."
"Is she sure?"
I thought about her report. "Well, she was drinking oat stout at the time. Nonetheless, she says it looked like your squash. It's supposed to taste like butternut squash. I was thinking of making it into a soup or maybe ravioli - you know with a nice sage - maple cream sauce. . . "
"No!" cried Farmer Small. "You can't eat it, I'm going to live in it!"
We went outside to see whether the newly identified Kuri squash was destined to be eaten or inhabited. At a distance, it looked both structurally suspect and unappetizing. When we got closer, we saw the tiny bite marks of a chipmunk and some rot. Farmer Small lost it.
"This is lousy!" he cried. "You wouldn't let me keep the golf cart from one of your friends - too expensive to maintain - or live on your window sill, or have a gun in the house and I COULD HAVE SHOT THE CHIPMUNK . . . "
Farmer Small was making some excellent points. I would have been fine with him shooting the chipmunk.
"Would you like to live inside for the rest of year? "
"With you and Susan?" he asked.
"Is the dog still going to be living inside?"
"Can I do activities?"
"What kind of activities? I asked.
"I was thinking of taking Zumba classes. A lot of people are talking about them."
Yes, they are. I see an akward conversation with Farmer Small about Zumba classes in my future.