Farmer Small lectures the snow.
The snow drifts were piled high at our house. I was still in bed when I heard the back door open, a woosh of wind and a little, tiny profanity. I uttered my own little tiny profanity as I went to investigate. Farmer Small was struggling against the wind as he attempted to go outside.
"What the heck are you doing?" I asked.
"Going outside to provide a weather update."
"Why are you going outside to provide a weather update?"
"I don't like the ones the weathermen on television are making. I'm going to give a different update."
"What makes you think people will listen to your weather update?" I asked.
He shrugged. "They listen to that idiot groundhog."
He had a point.
Farmer Small cupped his hands around his mouth and started to yell:
"This is a weather update. Spring is here! The sun is shining, and there are mild temperatures in the upper 50s. There is no snow. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming." He turned to me and smiled. "See, isn't that better?"
"Yes, but it's not real."
"Someday it will be real," he said.
"Why did you go outside to give your update?" I asked.
" To make sure the snow heard my update - you know, in case it didn't know it was supposed to leave."
"And what is the regularly scheduled programming we are returning to?"
He shot me a look to let me know that I was about as smart as the groundhog.