I came home from work tonight after a slightly stressful day and thought I'd unwind by taking a walk over to the garden to see what was growing.  It was then that I discovered that the watermelon, which hadn't really been changing much, had developed an area that was more brown than striped white and green.  When I picked it up, there was a hole in its side, and a suspicious looking slug lying beneath it.  Unfortunately, Farmer Small was right behind me and when he saw the ruined melon, he lost it.  He said several bad words, veritable paragraphs of invective, which are most politely summarized as:     "I !*$% hate slugs!"
I had to tell Farmer Small that slugs are an unfortunate fact of farming and one runs into slugs in every aspect of life.  I reminded him that slugs are entitled to try to survive too.  He said that maybe slugs are just misunderstood and that he thought he'd try  to do something social with the slugs.  You know, the smile never changed on his little plastic face, but I can't help but be worried that Farmer Small is breaking bad.

I'm not sure what I was thinking about when I initially purchased plants and seeds for this year's garden.  Although my feet were in the aisle at Agway, my mind was cavorting through the imaginary rows of my perfect garden plot, lush with healthy, blemish-less vegetables. No bugs, blight, or weeds marred the image. Fast forward to four months later where the rows aren't perfect, the weeds are winning, and I'm growing a UFO: unidentified fruit -like object.  I have no idea what the above large, pale vegetable is. It is the color of ghosts and moonlight and its size is increasing at a greater rate than anything else in the garden.  It has frightened the watermelon into inactivity, and frankly, there are less bugs in the garden as they cautiously circle it but refuse to land. Something is making me think that it's possible that it's a giant pumpkin, because I remember  toying with the idea of growing one, but I think I resisted that impulse. . . or maybe not.  Thoughts? 
  

 Sometime in the spring when I was planning a garden, I decided to take a chance on a  watermelon plant.  I've always thought of watermelon as a generous and exotic fruit. For those out there who will tell me to stop by the nearest WalMart where I can find a crate of one hundred watermelons at $4.99 each: thank you for the helpful information.  
    If you think about it, a  watermelon is pretty much the biggest fruit that you can grow in your backyard. That alone makes it cool.  Of course, the single watermelon in my backyard hasn't achieved any substantial size yet. Right now it is aspiring to the dimensions of a tennis ball.  In the interim, it's giving me a lot to think about. If it does get bigger, when will it achieve full growth?  Will I be painting a jack-o-lantern face on it, or carving it into a swan to place next to the turkey on my Thanksgiving table?  I was talking to a farmer the other day who told me that size and time are really just matters of perspective. I figure he's probably right.